Where to go to church? What is one to do in these troubling times? There are many articles written about this topic. Some are helpful, others less so. We could talk about the Reformers criteria regarding the preaching of the Word, administration of sacraments, and (to varying degrees) Church discipline. But these discussions aren't always helpful because on a practical level there are numerous entangling ecclesiastical questions especially regarding worship and polity.
Some congregations might preach the word after a fashion, but are (from my standpoint) otherwise intolerable - the sermon itself might be the only thing you can tolerate sitting through. Others might administer the sacraments but this is done from the standpoint of doctrinal error and becomes almost sacrilege by what is taught as preamble or even in some cases the levity associated with the rite. So to what degree do they 'rightly' administer the sacraments? That's the catch. What does 'rightly' mean?
Discipline scarcely exists in the Evangelical world. In the Confessional world it can be rather heavy-handed and while of a different stripe than what is found in the legalism of the Fundamentalist and Holiness sects, it can be in some ways more oppressive. The latter groups focus on minutiae and man-made checklists. For many of the Confessionalists the pressure is more about lifestyle expectations, income, and a basic submission to the elders - not just in doctrine and ethics, but they (in many cases) want to rule over your life and tell you where to work, when you can quit, where you can live and so forth. They view denominational/congregational membership as akin to a marriage and they are the heads of the household. In many cases they do not follow Peter's example and instead 'lord over' the congregation.
I more or less wrote off Evangelicalism more than twenty years ago but the intensity of my feelings about that movement have increased over the past decade and at this point in time I want nothing to do with them. I'm not suggesting there aren't Christians in Evangelical churches but I would like to see them leave. There are very few of their congregations left that I can even sit through on a Sunday morning. Between the worldliness, capitulation to culture, and increasingly the politics - I struggle to be around these folks, and refuse to on Sunday morning. By way of clarification I'm speaking of Evangelicalism as the movement that emerged after World War II. Once called Neo-Evangelicalism, today it's well established. Another Neo-Evangelicalism emerged in the 1990's and by this time the two are almost indistinguishable.
Some are confused but willing to listen and be challenged, and those are the people I'll happily engage - but I'm not going to church with them. I found I could not even stomach the New Calvinist variety - it was still in every way a modern Evangelical congregation, and one really more of the 1990's Neo-Evangelical variety.
Confessionalist doors are closed to me. I reject their ecclesiology and since I will not subscribe to their confessions or their bogus historical or historical theological narratives, I cannot honestly be part of these groups. Some (such as the Presbyterians) do not require lay subscription but this is (as I have long pointed out) deceptive because while I may not be required to sign the Westminster Confession, I am ruled by men who have and they will judge you (at least broadly) by that erroneous extra-biblical standard - and their interpretation of it. On a practical level it's their canon law that becomes most problematic, their books of church order, and the machinations of the hierarchies, viz. the presbytery or regional council of clerics. There are always loopholes but I'm not interested in helping these men find duplicitous bureaucratic workarounds to their own flawed and faulty system. In many cases their worship services are probably the best option but it comes with a price.
And of course I cannot seriously entertain Roman Catholicism or Eastern Orthodoxy. These bodies are beyond the pale of Biblical Orthodoxy. They are (to use my Old Testament Divided Kingdom analogy) covenant deviants of the Northern Kingdom variety. They are Dan and Bethel cults, and in some cases devotees of Baal. They are not pagans in the way the Ammonites or Egyptians are, but as apostate bodies the faithful want nothing to do with them.
So what am I left with? I'm presently being pulled in three directions - which may seem strange to some.
The first is what I call the Pietist Option. This would entail finding a church that's broadly in the Magisterial Protestant Reformation tradition and yet one that is not (or is no longer) confessional. There are for example congregations that have left the United Church of Christ (UCC) - old Congregational, German Reformed, or even Hungarian Reformed congregations that have departed from the historic standards and have been affected by theological liberalism but are presently reacting to it and (at this time) moving in a positive doctrinal direction. Some have not formally left the UCC, while others have and function as independent congregations which may or may not keep the 'Reformed' label.
The worship in these contexts tends to lean 'high' and yet not overly so. Some have been affected by the Evangelical ethos - with the inclusion of screens and/or piped in pop music, but most have not. More likely than not these congregations are going to have candles and robes rather than electric guitars. This is not ideal but I'd rather deal with high church leftovers than Evangelical-tech innovations, the levity, and the base pop-style that dominates in those circles. These (usually small) congregations often meet in grand old buildings - their numbers decimated by several generations of modernist theology.
So under this option, I attend church, make the best of it, deal with some things I don't like and hope for improvement. The teaching and worship aren't the best and in such congregations there's a mix of people. Some are leftovers from the mainline days and aren't very engaged. Talking with them can be a little disappointing. Others are there for various reasons and are often exiles from Evangelicalism, Confessionalism, or something else. The conversations can range from interesting to burdensome, encouraging to disturbing. I have an option like this but it involves a considerable drive which given that it's just not really that appealing or edifying - it's hard to be motivated Sunday after Sunday to make the long trip. And as with all distance scenarios, there's no church life apart from Sunday.
I call this model 'Pietist' because it's simply functioning within the context of the official or institutional Church but looking for spiritual edification and fellowship elsewhere. We're basically there in order to be regularly attending church and receiving word and sacrament. The sermons leave a lot to hope for but the sacraments are present and that is certainly something.
There's another possibility and that's one that could go by various names - the Sectarian or Conventicle model, one that in many respects continues the old underground legacy of the First Reformation and those who later dissented from the Magisterial Reformers. In terms of mainstream Protestant tradition, this sectarian approach is odious and smacks of heresy. This could also fall under the rubric of Pietism but the more extreme and ultimately separatist model. This is the option I prefer the most - meeting in a house, basement, or small storefront. I have no interest in big church buildings and such trappings.
Unfortunately such low-worship also frequently involves low-doctrine and low ecclesiology, but it doesn't have to be that way. I know of groups like this and some are fairly nearby but unfortunately at this point in time the people most likely to think outside the box and are willing to break with convention are not motivated at all by the same kinds of concerns as I am. Aside from the groups that are caught up in some radical Pentecostal doctrine, or the groups that are merely trying to grow into something that will eventually involve big buildings and a turn toward an institutional ecclesiology, these days the people I encounter in such settings are motivated by politics, some kind of survivalist cultural narrative, and things on that order. In fact these are (at least at the moment) most likely the people I really want nothing to do with - the rabid Trumpite-types with extremist political views and often guns.
I would be happy to start such a conventicle group with even just a couple of families, but at this point in time I don't know any. The ones I did know have moved away, died, or are no longer interested and have just capitulated to the easy path of Evangelicalism. As I have talked about previously, my hopes of twenty years ago that people would become exasperated with conventional Evangelical and Confessionalist churches has not come to pass - apart from those motivated by political extremism. The tendency is to gravitate away from small more or less traditional Protestant congregations with simple worship toward either over-the-top Neo-Evangelical pop 'worship' or some form of High-Church liturgy.
And speaking of the High Church, that brings me to another option or possibility. The Anglican Church in North America (ACNA) is growing and while some aren't any more conservative than something like the Global Methodist Church, there are some congregations that are of a different stripe. They do have an Anglo-Catholic diocese which the very name will cause some to recoil. For my part it doesn't, though in some respects it does represent the very epitome of what I reject.
Their narrative and doctrinal emphasis places them within the pale of Protestantism and yet in many respects they reject the Magisterial Reformation and are instead trying to revert to a pre-1054 model, which embraces Old Catholicism even while it rejects Roman Catholicism. As such, there is some overlap with Eastern Orthodoxy though any practices are stripped of later content and viewed through a primitive lens - which in reality is simply an expression of ambiguity. With their connections to primitive (and yet post-Constantinian) British Christianity they are also very conscious of and eager to emulate and emphasize the old Celtic Church - to a point.
The worship in some respects is everything I repudiate as it explicitly rejects the authority of Scripture alone, or to put it differently it's not regulated by Scripture. But if one can look past the robes, candles, getting sprayed with holy water via hyssop, and other such practices, the liturgy is reverent and fairly sound - but would still make some very uncomfortable if not understood. The Eucharist is rightly partaken of at every gathering, they embrace paedocommunion, and the great emphasis is on liturgy not politics, culture, or the like. The other-worldly nature of the meeting has a real appeal and I can see why people are drawn to it. I would take it any day any time over Evangelicalism which I have come to find repulsive.
That said, even though I can really appreciate the subtle rejection of the Magisterial Reformation even while not embracing Rome - in some ways to worship there represents a repudiation of all that I've struggled for over my Christian life. I have worshipped in Anglican churches before - in the UK and Italy, and I've attended plenty of Episcopalian services as well. Twenty-plus years ago one could still find some viable Episcopal congregations. That's not the case today.
While worshipping with the Anglo-Catholics (which I would prefer over a closer drive to a more generic (and doctrinally and liturgically loose) ACNA congregation), I'm driven to think of the Dark Ages and figures like Vigilantius, Claudius of Turin, the Celtic Church, and other Catholic dissidents who would not fit in with either today's Roman Catholics or Protestants - a space that I find both comforting and encouraging.
But to acquiesce and attend such a congregation - that's not an easy step for me to take. I cannot but cringe when I hear names like EB Pusey and my skin crawls to think that I'm sitting alongside the heirs of the Tractarians. In other ways I feel very much at home in a world that produced a lot of my favourite artists and literati. And yet, there's also something about the 'high brow' and very elite flavour of these circles that my understanding of New Testament Christianity finds repulsive. In this specific case, the people involved are really more working class types - but like me are driven by history and curiosity.
Additionally the congregation in question is a very long drive, and thus quite an investment. I also feel like such a path would make me seem feckless and unprincipled in the eyes of my family. And I certainly cannot bring myself to call the congregation bishop 'father'.
Were I a young and single man living in the situation that I do at present I would likely attend there - though unhappily. Maybe another way to state it is - I wish very much that I could be at peace attending there. In so many ways my griefs and struggles would be resolved. But I cannot.
So what to do? That is the question. Given that option 3 is out, and option 2 while preferred is not at present possible - that leaves me with option 1. It's not a happy choice but it's the best that can be hoped for at present.