This is the story of Ron, a man I've known for about thirty years. We worked together many years ago and have collaborated on projects from time to time. For a lost person, Ron was a decent enough guy in that he had a strong work ethic and tried to be honest in his dealings - though even this could at times get a little fuzzy. There were numerous occasions in which Ron would have liked to form a business partnership with me, which I was never interested in doing. As a Christian I knew we could never run a business together as even our notions of fair and honest treatment of people differed. We would be unequally yoked as the apostle puts it. Ron wanted to make some money and have some status and respect in society. He was also a workaholic - often going seven days a week. Our values were very different and in reality we had little in common apart from shared work and the experiences associated with that.
I would visit Ron but out in his garage-shop. I was never one to sit in his house and visit on that kind of personal basis. When you know someone for that long you learn a bit about their family but even this was limited. I knew there was some scandal regarding the break-up of his first marriage and how he ended up with his second wife and there was some bad blood with his kids as a result. Generally speaking, we didn't get into those things.
We certainly talked about religion and Christianity over the years. We had many talks and yet he just never could get it. He'd play coy and dance around issues, insisting I couldn't tell - maybe he really was a Christian? He wasn't. He didn't attend church. He was godless and loved his dirty jokes and all the rest - though he didn't share them around me and always tried to curtail his swearing and propensity to blaspheme when I was present.
And then at times he would wax foolish and say that he thought that he would have made a good pastor and then would take offense when I pointed out that he should probably be a Christian first.
He had the gospel presented to him on numerous occasions and I do remember one time he pressed me about his parents and whether or not they were in hell or heaven. I knew his mother but never met his father. His parents (from all I could gather) were decent enough people from the World War II generation, but there was no reason to believe they were Christians either. And so I told him that while it's a bitter pill to swallow, if a person was not trusting in Christ and repenting of their sins, if they were not showing evidence of faith, like being part of a church and the life they led - then there's no reason to hope they died in Christ and are with Him. God can be merciful and we don't always know what's in people's hearts, but outwardly speaking there was no reason for us to expect such people possess salvation. He didn't really get the nuance - he just took it as (according to me) his parents are in Hell. True enough, but I didn't put it in such blunt terms.
The years went by and a few years ago Ron was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer. We had a couple more talks but generally speaking he didn't seem interested. In fact he seemed more and more recalcitrant and often cited the other Christians in the community as examples of why their message couldn't be trusted. I was always excepted from these diatribes and condemnations. "I don't mean you," he would assure me. And indeed, the Christian testimony in the area is a pretty poor one. We have a Holiness building contractor who seems to be influenced by Libertarian ideology. He simply ignores local ordinances and regulations and is contemptuous toward the local authorities. He's a bit of a hoarder and thus his various properties are overrun with junk which has made his neighbours unhappy. And he's not out on some country road but in the center of town. He's grown rather wealthy and his gluttonous attitude toward money is evident in his physiological change as he and his family have grown quite fat - living the good life, but always buttoning the top button and wearing long sleeves even in the worst of heat. One of his sons (who also is quite corpulent) is lazy and rude. A local Evangelical business owner hired him but ended up regretting it as the guy proved worthless, incompetent, and utterly lacking in any kind of character or work ethic. In other words he's a spoiled brat which testifies poorly of his parentage. But he sure likes to tell everyone how great he is and rail against all the 'welfare' people - as if he's ever worked a day in his life. The contractor in question also charges top dollar and yet I've found his workmanship to be lacking at times and there's evidence of cutting corners. I would not recommend him.
The business owner in question (who hired the Holiness contractor's son) earned Ron's scorn because he's often disengaged and runs his business poorly and has repeatedly been caught up in apocalyptic scenarios. He seems more interested in prepper stockpiling, guns, and hawking gold than running his business which in turn has generated some grief at times for Ron, myself, and others who have been forced to drive out of town to get the things we need.
And then we have another Christian business owner who always keeps an open Bible on the counter of his retail store. I've engaged with this man in conversation regarding the faith and he's nothing less than a disaster. He's the kind of 'me and my Bible'-type guy that Presbyterians love to rail against. He is literally the embodiment of all that can go bad with that sort of thing. He's part of a home-church that's basically built around an anti-institutional ethos, in part (I think) in defiance of Covid-era restrictions, and with some strong doses of MAGA ideology. For all his supposed Bible reading, he doesn't know it very well and is completely ignorant of basic theological concepts which would inform some of his opinions and give him a little more guidance. In terms of Christianity they seem to just be shooting from the hip as they say and this seems to play out in the realm of ethics as well. Because aside from all that, his reputation is basically criminal. There are numerous people around who accuse him of shady dealings and outright criminality. The stories are outrageous but it's not just one or two people.
And there are more such examples, but needless to say, the public face of Christianity in the immediate area (and one town in particular) is not good. And so as Ron progressed in his cancer-driven downgrade, the talk was frequently along the lines of - 'I'm as good as they are. If they're going to heaven, then I should to. I'm no worse than they are', and other statements along those lines.
Of course I told him that he won't be judged by them or their standard and that they too will answer for their deeds. And I frequently pointed out to him that if he would read the New Testament, he would find there are abundant warnings concerning false Christianity and people just like the ones he has encountered.
He didn't want to hear it. As Ron started to turn down the final stretch of his road, I started to bring up things again, but it didn't go anywhere. Then I found out that through Hospice he had a chaplain coming to his house - a woman pastor from a larger town to the north. I found out she's the 'pastor' of a Church of God (Cleveland Tennessee) congregation and he told me he made it clear to her he didn't want a bunch of Bible-stuff shoved down his throat and that she was fine with that.
Wow, I thought. That's interesting. He's said many times over the years that I'm the only serious Christian guy he's known, or the most serious Christian guy he's ever met. As someone whose family and kids are a bit of mess, he's pointed out that others (including himself) have noticed my family and my (now adult) children, etc. - and the fact that I've remained married for nigh on thirty years. In other words, I (according to him) have some standing, some moral capital as it were. But he wasn't interested in talking to me.
As the end drew near, I was more burdened and felt like maybe I should make more of an effort to reach out to him and try and have yet another gospel-oriented talk. It became more difficult with family and people around and then finally it reached a point where I realized that his mental faculties weren't really there any more.
And so Ron finally died - not far from his 80th birthday.
In lieu of a funeral they chose to have a 'Celebration of Life' which I found awkward. A funeral is easier. Call hours are even better as you can skip the funeral and yet still have a moment to extend your sympathies to the family. But this meant everyone was packed into the local fire-hall and I worried it might turn into some big emotional thing. Thankfully it didn't, but at the end of the day, his larger circle was comprised of non-Christian people and thus it's difficult to respond to all the 'at least he's in a better place' talk, when I don't believe for a moment that he is. And while I intuitively want to counter such statements - it's not the place for it. People are grieving and they don't want to hear it, and I don't want to cause a scene.
But there was something rather interesting. The woman 'pastor' who 'ministered' to him during his final days spoke about how Ron was (at the end) willing to pray a little prayer with her. And she talked about the Thief on the Cross and how all he said was 'remember me' and was granted salvation. She seemed to miss the fact that the statement was made (it would seem) with contrition and in acknowledgement of Christ's Lordship. It was a statement of repentance and faith, not some little charm-like saying that works like a magic talisman.
It's amazing how some Evangelical gospel presentations are little different from a Roman Catholic rite. And in this case it's someone who's hardly a 'conservative' Evangelical at that.
So basically, she insinuated that Ron died a believer. Leading up this she shared how Ron struggled with death and was highly disturbed because he told her how one time someone he knew told him that his parents weren't in heaven. And she went on to say how terrible that was and that we should never say that and that God is merciful. So I'm guessing she's some kind of near-universalist - only Hitler and serial killers are in Hell. Everyone else is basically in heaven.
Isn't liberal Evangelicalism great?
I found it strange to be all but 'called out' like that during the funeral or whatever it was. I'm sure his immediate family knew the reference was to me. They all know that I'm the 'super-religious' guy.
It's all the more interesting when I learned through another mutual acquaintance who visited Ron about a week before he died that he had told her (during a particularly lucid moment) that he wasn't sorry about anything, he had no regrets about his life.
Does that sound like a Christian to you? It doesn't even sound like a mildly reflective person to me. When I hear that sort of thing, I immediately assume the person is shallow and lacks much of a conscience. I can safely say that I regret everything. Even the things that are good, I would do differently. I would take so many things back and handle things in a different way. I would never look back on my life with satisfaction and a lack of remorse. I cannot even fathom such a sentiment.
Again, I felt so bad during those last weeks that I didn't make another effort. I kept thinking about some of those zealous soul-winning Fundamentalist types I've known. I'm not sure why because I've never really thought much of their methods. In some ways I suppose I almost took a hyper-Calvinist view with Ron. We'd had the conversations and yet I also found that sometimes if it had been a few years since we'd seen much of each other and then we'd have another round of talks - it was like everything I'd ever said before had gone out the window. None of it was retained. Nothing sank in. I had to start all over again. I never got anywhere with him in terms of the gospel.
And part of me was a little hurt and offended that he didn't want to talk to me - so instead he found this ear-tickling liberal would-be pastor - a Jezebel priestess to tickle his ears and give him peace as he went lost to the grave. I'm sorry to say it, but he was fool and has undoubtedly realized that now.
After the pseudo-funeral, I don't feel bad any more. But I do of course. I feel bad for him and his family and for the people that found comfort in that Jezebel's words. But I don't feel bad about not making further efforts to reach Ron. He clearly didn't want to hear me. He didn't like what I had to say and in the end I'm sure the fact that this woman has a 'reverend' in front of her name, and her name on a sign in front of a big building associated with a denomination carried a lot of weight. Who am I? I'm nobody and so I have no standing or credibility - or at least that's how he and many others would see it.
If Ron hadn't been a fool, he would have actually read the New Testament and weighed what I was saying, but he didn't want to do that. He wanted someone to tell him what he wanted to hear - basically that despite everything, it's okay. You're good with God and just say this little prayer - this little magic spell, and you get to go to heaven. He found the right witch to deceive him.
It's the second time this week that I've encountered pernicious female pastors and the theology that undergirds their claims. In this case though it was especially strange to witness this coupled with some loose Evangelical trappings and worst of all, the Cheap Grace counterfeit gospel that treats salvation as a banal or trivial thing.
What a farce. Unfortunately the good 'reverend' Jezebel will be held to account for he deceptive workings and gospel distortions. But until then how many other fools will she find that will happily listen to her and her ugly siren song?