20 June 2012

Apologies and The Gift of Time

Once again I wish to extend my apologies to the readers of this weblog. Normally I'm able to produce material at a pretty steady tempo, but the last couple of months have left me exhausted and in terms of time...exasperated.
We've had health issues and other personal situations that have dominated our time. In terms of my business I've been bogged down by time constraints and a lot of hours in the office working on estimates and plans. It's been very frustrating as I've just not been able to use my time the way I would wish. Calculating building materials is not something I'm interested in, but theological, historical and contemporary commentary don't pay the bills.

God willing, things are settling...not slowing down, but moving into a more of a routine in which I can begin to focus once more on my writing.
I find many people who have tremendous amounts of time often do not appreciate it.  Twenty-four hours is not enough...If I had forty hours a day I could accomplish something....but would I? Many of us, perhaps me included would still be spinning our wheels and failing to be as productive as we would hope. At one point I grew very frustrated, even angry, but then I had to pause and say...take the long view, be patient and remember what this is all about.
We do what we can with what is given to us. I hope a time will come in my own life that I can spend more time doing what I want to do and what I believe to be far more profitable (in a spiritual sense) and helpful to others. But at the moment that's not where God wants me to be. I have to spend most of my time doing something I care very little about, but it's something that keeps a roof over our head.
I'm trying to get caught up and return to writing. I have pieces to finish and many new ones to write....I could write eight hours a day, but at this point...it's not God's will that I should do so. Maybe someday it will be?
I'm not alone. There are others out there who write for a specialized audience and are able to garner enough support that they can live humbly and get by. I don't think that's very likely in my case, nor is it something I'm entirely comfortable with. The numbers of people who are interested in what I'm saying are just too small and often the people who are interested are actually in disagreement with me. They're challenged in a good sense, but would never want to encourage me. That being the case, I will continue to write as I'm able, but from time to time there will be seasons when my full time work will hinder my production here.
The time has not been totally ill spent. I've had both interesting and frustrating conversations, and perhaps even a few startling ones. And I've been able to read a bit and reflect. I try with great energy to never simply waste time. Whatever I'm doing I try and make spiritually profitable. We can do this more often than we realize.

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